Tuesday, July 18, 2006
bad day
Its only 12pm, but I have a feeling that I'm gonna have a bad day. I hate these kinda days.. its not as if anything is going wrong or anything you're just having a bad day and thats all.. it sucks it really does. Its like nothing is going wrong right now.. but then something always happens like .. iuno but you kinda just feel .. like blah like nothing. Like you're worth nothing like you're NOTHING. For no reason what so ever. I realize some days thats I'm not happy and its over the stupidest things ever.. like I wish I were closer with this person, but I have friends that I am close with and love me and I can't be grateful for them. The ones thats are my friend and that are there .. I hate it and I feel terrible cause its like they want to be my friend but I'm still stuck on the people that don't care for me. Like I don't even understand myself this is majorly pathetic. But yeah what can ya do about it. Today is not a good day.
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3 comments:
there r most days where i dun like myself...i'll look in the mirror and think where the heck am i going i life? and it feels like nowhere is where...watching tv and seeing ppl have their lives in order, or ppl i work with, they kno where they wanna go, and im stuck in this rutt of not knowing wat i wanna do...or if i do kno, i dun kno how to get there thru the steps and so i chicken out and "change my mind"...
for a long time in my life i was surrounded by ppl who didnt care for me, one example could b my very first best friend in richmond, we would do everything together, tell each other everything, and blahblahblah...and wen we got older we would fight ALL the time, and wen we hit high school we didnt even say "boo" to one another till graduating year...and even then it was under ten words each...
it sucks to have those friends who dont care, but it sucks even more wen u ignore the ones who r trully wanting to b ur friends...another example would b latoya...she saw that me and that other girl(u remember naomi?) werent really friends and she kept telling me how it was destructive if i stayed friends with her...all i kept thinkin was how she was my best friend and no one would come between us...but i wish i had listened to her(latoya), u kno y? b/c naomi and i did fall away from each other, and i never got to kno latoya all that much and to this day our(latoya and i)friendship is strained...
if someone trully wants to b ur friend they will find a way to b there and learn about who u really r...the ones that dont, when their "friends" leave 'em it's always good to kno that someone is there willing to b there...dig?
p.s. really sorry about the movie thingy, i just wasnt up to being a socialite when wat i really wanted to do was cry my eyes out and be hateful...ppl were SO dumb that day...they were not thinking, and it wasnt just the costomers either, ppl i work with were telling them things that they could do wen they shoudlnd, and b/c i follow the rules, i layed down the law and ppl got pissed off at me, and it was really unfair...and i was extremly hating ppl that day...
p.p.s. RHEEBS U R A BEAUTIFUL GIRL, WITH A BIG HEART...sometimes i dun think u kno that...just wanted to remind u if u did... :D
haha the movie things is okayy its all gravvy. but yeah its hard but yenno life isnt easyy but yeah i am trying to learn to put myself in other people's shoes. but being careful to not to walk in their shoes with t hem.. catch my drift?
i hear ya...
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